There are things in life we come to expect. Today is the first day of fall, we expect that soon the leaves will turn their vibrant colors and awe us with their beauty. We expect when we strike a match, fire will follow. We grow up with particular privileges and we "expect" that is how everyone lives. We soon learn that is not true, perhaps we were simply blessed. We press the "buttons" on our technical devices every day and think nothing of it, until they fail to turn on and it can becomes a frustrating experience. Expectations can be the beginning of our greatest disappointments. As athletes we are taught to steer clear from expectations, we can only focus on what we can control. We are taught to keep our attention on the process, which can be easier said than done.
Traveling during a pandemic I have learned not to expect things like having my hotel room serviced while we are at the course, and so I make my bed before I leave for the day. We have learned the convenience of breakfast at the hotel is not a reality anymore. There are times getting a cup of coffee can be a challenge. We were at our hotel for four days and I passed the same crumbs in the hallway while the trash piled up in the front lobby. A sign of the times. Staffing is hard to come by. Our arrival day we took the team into the city of Boston to see some sights, with the expectations they would have parking for our oversized van. Parking garages were plentiful but not useful for larger vehicles, street parking was full and open lots were often closed due to no attendants on property. Our expectation of seeing the city was nothing more than peering out the windows at the towering buildings and city dwellers walking amongst the historic statues that adorn "Beantown". We did get a historical synopsis from one of the players reading from Google on her phone. We returned to the hotel to grab takeout from an Italian restaurant across the street, just in time to watch the Penn State Whiteout game. When you pay good money for your meal there is the expectation it will be fabulous! I have learned from this time of more takeout orders than dining in, some foods are not meant for Styrofoam containers and should only be consumed from a fresh plate. I know a coach that actually travels with a real plate and silverware just for when her team gets takeout!
When I take my team to compete anywhere in the Northeast there is the expectations we will finish on top. History has proven that. However, never put your expectations in things you cannot control. The result can sometimes "sting" and the reality will wake you up! The real blessings come from what we do with the lessons learned, hopefully may they not be forgotten. While competing at this past tournament I had another coach say to me, "Your player just missed a four foot putt and simply walked up to the hole and tapped it in. No drama, what? If that were one of my players, you would think they never missed a four-footer in their life. I am so impressed!" I told her the "expectation" we have for our players is to conduct themselves with composure and respect for their competitors and their sport. I often say, "people may not remember what you shot; however, they will always remember how you were to play with." Certainly, we play this game with emotion, both up and down, however learning to manage those emotions is key to maturing in the game.
Traveling back to State College there is the expectation that it will take more than a few hours and we will encounter our share of traffic and bathroom stops. Andy and I will sit up front, taking turns driving, and keeping each other awake with some "old tunes" on the radio! The players are busy doing schoolwork or later in the trip, have fallen fast asleep. Sometimes the things we least expect, can be a pleasant surprise. We switched drivers after a couple hours in, which means I take over the wheel. You see, if I time this right, I take two shifts and Andy gets three! :0 We had some trouble getting our movies to play on the TV, I know "hardship!" Andy changed seats with Sarah, who now sat in the co-pilot seat! Five hours later, Sarah and I covered several "topics", learning about college golf years ago to if you could name yourself, would you choose the name you have? Andy and some of the players watched a movie, and we were pulling off the highway to our State College exit, while the song Faithfully by Journey is playing, and my favorite line "being on the road ain't easy on this love affair, but I get the joy of rediscovering you." I have been blessed and yes have grown to "expect", that I have a welcoming home to come back to. As that is happening my phone starts to ring, it's one of our players at home, I ask Sarah to answer it. When someone calls you unexpectantly your heart can sometimes skip a beat. She sounded upset and somewhat terrified. She lives in a house with teammates, that happened to be in the van with me. "Coach, someone came and knocked on our door, I didn't want to answer it since I am here alone and was not "expecting" anyone. The knock continued and got louder, so I called the police!" You could hear in her voice she was shaken and scared. I assured her it would be okay, and we could pull into the driveway within ten minutes. Just then, a voice comes from the back of the van," Coach, I think it's my grub hub delivery person." Yes, they just called my phone and said no one would answer the door. I ordered food so it would be there when I got home." A sigh of relief went through the van not to mention a smile that came to my face as I thought to myself, yes thankfully I was right, everything is going to be okay!
I am still learning that when we live life without the restraints of "expectations" we will experience the true essence of what it means to live freely.
