June 6, 2007
Most children will live their whole life not being able to repay their parents for the love, attention and nurturing affection that they received growing up. Penn State senior shot putter Toya Woods knows how she's going to try, though, but waiting is the hard part. You see, Toya is scheduled to give her mom one of her kidneys in September, hopefully fulfilling both their dreams of a full and long life for Darcel Woods-Minton.
When she took her daughter to the track just after she was able to walk, Darcel Woods-Minton probably never thought about where she and her daughter would be in 20 or 30 years. She probably never thought that she would have to worry about what milestones she might miss in her daughter Toya and son Tromelle's lives. And if you talked to her today, you probably wouldn't know that she suffers from seizures associated with a decades-long battle that has left her with a set of kidneys that don't function. Well, make that definitely since the optimistic nature of both Toya and Darcel denies the stressful nature of the physical battles both have in front of and behind them.
If you've ever met Toya Woods, you'll find she's pretty headstrong and confident. And when you meet her mom, you understand why.
"My mother first got sick when I was in fourth grade," remembers Toya. "Nobody really knew what was going on. At that time I was really young, so when I went to the hospital to see her it was shocking- my mom never got sick! She's like Super Mom. This time it was a little different and to see her in that stage, it really as a child it sets you back. It's like 'Wow, what's going on here?'"
It took Toya a few years to put it all together, but once she did her decision was made. "Toya was maybe 15 when it really clicked, that's my opinion," recollects Darcel. "That's when she started saying, 'I'll give it to you, I'll give my kidney to you.' I explained that she was too young.
"I never asked her to (give it to me). I don't ask people because that;s something that they have to do on their own...but I never had to ask."
Even when the offer was extended, the situation wasn't what you'd call a "done deal." It was important to Darcel that Toya research the procedure before she made her decision and that she have the opportunity to finish her college degree and compete all four years before going through the physically demanding surgery. "It's been tough waiting," says Toya, "My mom and I argued a lot over (the decision to wait). I'm just like 'Why can't I just do this now?' and she'll be like ''cause you haven't graduated.'"
The summer of her sophomore year, Toya started to become very direct about her desire to give her mother her kidney. "When I said 'Mom, that's enough, I'm doing this. We're going to do it.' I sat there until she called people and said she had to make an appointment," remembers Toya of the moment the wheels were finally put in motion. "She said 'the only way I'm going to allow you to do this is after your graduation... I want to see you succeed and excel to the best of your potential without having something stand in your way. I don't want you to ever have to say 'If I didn't have this surgery, I would've went further because I would've been able to train. I want you to put your best foot forward in school and in track and then after that we can take it from there."
Not to be denied, Toya has continued on her quest to give her mom the gift of life- the same gift Toya received from her mom many years ago. The two have already gone through most of the pre-testing leading up to the surgery and so far all signs point to the positive.
"I've been blessed. She's a good girl, a young lady now and I'm proud of her," said Darcel, who notes that goals like seeing Toya and her brother grow up have helped her along. "She graduated from middle school in 1999 and I wasn't able to go to that because I was having my first transplant, which lasted four years. Then I just prayed that I was able to see her graduate from high school, which I made it through high school, and now we're on to college. God's been good to us, to all of us, which is a blessing."
And so while Toya trains, studies and waits for September, her mother continues her routine back in New Rouchelle, N.Y. She goes to her job at the local school district at 5:30 a.m. and then on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays she heads to Yonkers, a 40-minute drive by bus, for dialysis- what she calls her "second job." After dialysis, which normally takes between three and three and a half hours, Darcel heads back home on another bus and then gets ready to start all over again.
A state champion athlete herself, Darcel still walks two to three miles a day. "I'm determined to do that," then with a laugh she adds, "It takes a little longer then some people, but I do it."
It's that kind of optimism and persistence that permeates both of their personalities and makes them incredible role models for each other and those around them.
"I try and compare the situation to a cancer patient. When people have cancer or even AIDs, there's nothing you can do...you can give them affection, you can give them attention. You can do all of that stuff, but there is nothing that you can do for them that can turn the situation around or make them healthy again," said Toya. "It's out of your control at that point, but this is something that's within my control. There's something I can do about it. I don't ever want it to come to a point where I say 'There was something I could do, but I didn't really do it.' I can never say 'I wish I could do something.' I have the opportunity to do something to rectify the situation and change it. For those who do that, I think that's amazing and I want to take full advantage to do that."
And she'll be able to do something about Darcel's situation after graduation on August 15th. That is, once her mother says so.